5 Shots and Counting
by All-High King Xalo
Summary: Is there a catch genre for drunk? A torent and swoltering romance.


Daniel Jackson stared at the new arrival in the Gate Room with a certain sense of distress. It did not come from the fact that there was an unauthorized visitor in the room – no, make that two unauthorized intruders. With a… blue box? He had a nagging feeling that this was something he should recognize but the name escaped him. It sat there, directly in front of the Stargate, while the two visitors turned about them in varied states of bewilderment and excitement. No, his distress was not at the blatant breach of security. It was because there was a strange stirring in his chest (and it wasn't from the shots he'd done with General Hammond the night before) and he wasn't quite sure why. The source of it stood there, hands on his hips, staring raptly at the Stargate.

"Pardon me," he blurted, "But who the hell are you?"

The man turned around. He had startling eyes the color of chocolate – rich chocolate too, the sort you find only in fancy chocolate stores. Dark chocolate. Mohagony. He could not find enough words to describe them and he cursed himself for his inelegant introduction. What if this stranger didn't like swearing? Oh god. He shifted uneasily.

"Well hello there!" the stranger beamed, "Me? I'm the Dr. _Just_ the Dr. Oh, and this is my companion, Donna."

It was around this point that Daniel noticed that she had boobs. Interesting. Not as distracting as he would have ordinarily expected.

"Oh, well," Daniel stuttered. He just then noticed that his clothing was still terribly dusty from his last mission. He'd have to shower. He pulled at the collar of his shirt at that thought. Shower. Dr. Huh.

"So, where are we?" the MILF with boobs said, moving to stand between him and the Dr. She seemed a pushy sort.

"Well, you're inside a mountain. In Colorado Springs. In a top secret government facility."

Behind him, Daniel could hear the tromp of boots as a dozen armed guards flooded the room. Strangely, the Dr. did not seem distressed at the sound of guns being readied at him. He only smiled and held up his hands, as if this was a common occurrence. He did not flinch in the face of danger. Daniel liked that in a man.

"It's okay," Daniel said absently, waving a hand at the soldiers, "I've got a good feeling about this. I mean, he seems like an okay sort. I mean, well, I don't know what the hell I mean."

"That's alright!" The Dr. grinned and stepped forwards, closing the distance between himself and Daniel. Was it just him, or did the air seem a bit warmer? The Dr. had still not put his hands down and he just grinned at Daniel, eying him up and down carefully. Was this man not aware of the effect his… charisma… had on people? Daniel could see the MILF with boobs staring him down in the background, leaning cheekily on the police box. That's what it was. Police box. Wasn't that a British thing? That would explain the accent.

"I'm just popping about, you know, exploring, that sort of thing," the Dr. continued, "Don't mind me. Continue about your business."

"Well," Daniel said, his mind working furiously. Dammnit, this man seemed utterly unflappable. How could he hope to impress such a… a… self-assured… noun-verb-adjective? "How about a tour?" he blurted.

"That sounds _wonderful!_" The Dr. clapped his hands and turned to the woman. "Donna, this most excellent individual is going to give us a tour!"

Daniel felt himself flush. The Dr. had called him an 'excellent individual'. Stuttering, utterly off his groove, Daniel barked out some orders to the soldiers around him. They stood down, reluctantly, and moved to secure the police box. The Dr. didn't seem concerned. Donna kept shooting dirty looks at everyone around her. What was her problem, seriously? Was she noticing the furtive looks he was giving the Dr., taking in his scuffed jacket and the strange… stiff… object in his… pocket. Apparently the Dr. had been through quite a few adventures of his own.

"It's my sonic screwdriver," the Dr. chirped, noticing Daniel's stares, "See?" And he pulled out a strange metal cylinder and held it up in the light. Daniel swallowed and managed to mutter something about 'follow me this way, please.'

"And we're walking," Daniel tried to say and trailed off. His tone was high and cheerful, a forced sort of way that made him feel unnaturally feminine. Donna was still glaring at the back of his head, like she was trying to bore a hole in his skull and implant eight-legged alien eggs in his brains.

He led the Dr. through the halls, talking as he did. He explained that the room they had arrived in was where they kept the Stargate and how they used it to travel to other worlds. The Dr. seemed particularly interested in this and encouraged, Daniel started to regale him of his many adventures. He enjoyed seeing how the Dr.'s deep earthen dark eyes lit up as he regaled him with tales of the many worlds he had visited. He told him of the size of Thor's hammer and great girth and rounded shaft. He talked about the time he wandered back to the base naked, his pale, sallow cheeks visible for all to see.

"Oh," the Dr. said cheerily, "That would have been a sight to see. I may have to try that sometime."

"Indeed," Donna added, entirely without cheer. Daniel lost his train of thought.

"So what is this room?" the Dr. asked, peering inside the open door.

"Oh," Daniel stuttered, "That's my room. And that's my bed. And that's my closet. And-"

Donna was staring at him again. God, she did ruin the mood. The Dr. had entered it and stood with his hands in his pockets, rocking back and forth on his heels.

"Cozy," he said, "Tight and compact. I like that."

"Do you want to see what we brought back from this last mission?" Daniel blurted for lack of anyting else to say, "It's over in one of the containment cells."

The Dr. seemed affiable to this suggestion. Daniel led him through the narrow halls until they reached a steel door with a guard outside. The soldier stared fixidly ahead and Daniel made to walk past. The man caught his eyes and then flicked his gaze significantly at the Dr. and his companion. Daniel wasn't fond of that word. What kind of companion?

"It's alright, they're with me," Daniel said. The guard seemed unconvinced. Then the Dr. stepped forwards, taking a slip of paper from his jacket pocket. He brandished it and the guard squinted at it from under the brim of his helmet.

"Ah, very good," the guard said, "I don't see Security Clearance Y.E.S. very often. Your'e cleared to go in."

The two entered the room. Donna had to stay behind because the psychic paper didn't have her name on it. The Dr. was explaining it in a hushed whisper. His breath stirred the hair on Daniel's neck and smelled faintly of tea and necterines. The room beyond was dark and Daniel fliked the lights on. There was a tall metal structure in the center of the room, bound to the floor and walls with chains. It started to vibrate as the lights fell upon it, the strange light in the center of its rounded dome pulsing.

"EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINAAAATE!" it screeched.

The Dr.'s demeanor utterly changed. His eyes went wide and then once the shock had set in they narrowed. The muscles in his jaw tightened and he seemd to hunch over, his hands balling into fists. He stalked closer to the creature. It rocked back and forth on its base, the chains snapping with each motion. The Dr. did not appear afraid. He seemed… furious. It was an odd expression, as if he was not familiar with it very often. Yet the anger behind his gaze betrayed that a monster lay beneath, that this man was not merely human, was something more and had seen gereat and terrible things. Had done great and terrible things.

"Dalek!" the Dr. hissed, "To think I'd find one here, on earth, of all places. Of course our paths would cross. It seems that the universe is content to bind my fate to that of your cursed race!"

"The Dr.!" the dalek screeched in response, its voice tinny with hatred, "Exterminate!"

"Okay," Daniel said, "I have no idea what that thing is but that's the most excited I've seen it all evening."

"It's a Dalek," the Dr. replied, his body tense, still not tearing his eyes from the vibrating monstrosity, "They exist to kill. Or did you figure that out already?"

"It's sort of been screaming exterminate at everyone since we captured it here, so yes," Daniel replied, somewhat offended. What, did the Dr. think they weren't competent here at SG1 or something?

"Just how did you manage that, anyway?"

"A complicated scheme involving a zat gun, Asgard beaming technology, and a goa'uld mothership. I thought of it myself. I almost died though."

"That would be inconvenient. I've died a couple times myself. It's not terribly recommended."

"We have something in common!" Daniel exclaimed. Finally, a way to relate to this stranger with the smoldering eyes. "I've died as well. It's anywhere between 6 and 22 times, depending on who you ask."

"Oh, just like Buffy!"

"EXTERMINATE!" the Dalek screamed, as if it didn't particularly like being ignored.

"Excuse me, we're having a moment here," Daniel snapped peevishly in response. This only seemed to infuriate the creature. The chains screeched in agony as they were pulled taunt and the strange batter mixer like device on its front wiggled up and down futily.

One of the chains snapped. An expression of terror came over the Dr.'s features. He stared at Daniel.

"We should run now," the Dr. said earnestly, "Really. Like now."

The two burst into the hallway. The Dr. yelled something at the guards. Something about 'run now before everyone dies'. There was a terrible noise, like the sound of air being rent apart by unspeakable power beyond mortal comprehension, and the soldier that had been standing outside was turned blue. With his skeleton visible. And then he fell dead to the ground.

"IT BURNS US!" the guard screamed before he died, "PRECIOUS!"

Daniel sprinted through the hallway. The Dr. was a very fast runner. Daniel wondered what sort of legs were under those denim jeans. Muscular, surely, but where they tanned or as pale as his own alabastar complexion? Did the Dr. shave?

There was the sound of grim carnage behind them. More cries of agony were punctuated by the Dalek's dismal screaming of "EXTERMINAAAATE!"

"Just what is that thing," Daniel panted heavily.

"A genetically engineered soldier," the Dr. replied, his breath coming in short, quick gasps, "A creature born to hate and bred to kill. I destroyed them. There was a war. All my people were died. I'm the last of the timelords."

Daniel felt a surge of pain in his heart for the Dr. How terrible… to be all alone in this universe… the last of a noble race… alone… He reached out a hand and gently put it on the Dr.'s shoulder. The Dr. shuddered at the touch, as if he recoiled from human contact, not out of distaste, but out of habit, out of a fear borne from deep wounds that had been left in his soul. He'd lost too many close to him. Watched too many worlds burn. There was nothing Daniel could say to ever bridge the gap between them and his heart wrenched with the sorrow of it all.

"We should keep running," the Dr. said, "The Dalek is still chasing us."

"Oh. Right."

Someone ran past. On fire. Screaming. The Dr. watched him for a moment and then shrugged and turned down a corridor. Daniel followed. They ran until they reached a dead end and the two flattened against it. Daniel spun about, staring in horror at the end of the corridor. The noises of carnage were growing closer and the Dalek's 'exterminaaate!' rattled like a dirge off the walls.

"No no no!" the Dr. yelled, beating at the dead end with his fists, "C'mon, think!"

"I don't want to die a virgin," Daniel sobbed.

"Don't whine," the Dr. snapped.

"This isn't whining," Daniel retorted, "Thiiiis is whiiiining." His voice came out like souls of children being sundered in two.

"Your face is whining," the Dr. muttered, "C'mon, think! We're about to be exterminated by a Dalek. I'm the Dr.! I'm the last Timelord! I can't die like this!"

"What, like a virgin?"

"No," the Dr. replied, distracted, "Well, yes, but other things too."

Then his face cleared. It was like the sun cresting the horizon. His eyes shone like deep brown like cool river stones. He stood up straight and tall, his shoulders squared and he faced the incoming Dalek. It cleared the corner and pivoted to face them, its plunger-face rotating to fixate on the two. Daniel pressed his back against the tunnel wall, praying that the Dr. did indeed have a plan. He didn't want to die a 7th time. Or 23rd. Depending on who's counting.

"You lousy sack of tin," the Dr. sneered. God, Daniel loved a man that could sneer in the face of danger. He wondered if the Dr. practiced that in front of a mirror. He wondered if said mirror was in the Dr.'s bedroom. "I'm not going to go quietly! This last of the Timelords will destroy you! You hear me, Dalek! I will destroy you!"

"Exterminate!" it screeched. Light started to gather at the end of it's batter mixer thing.

The Dr. reached deep into his expansive pocket and pulled out… a sonic screwdriver. He aimed it at the Dalek and depressed the button. There was a whirring noise and then the light of the Dalek's weapon reversed, like the wand fight from the fourth Harry Potter book. Except without the ghosts and stuff. The Dr. knew this because he had read the series.

The top blew off the Dalek's cylindrical body with a gout of glowing white light. The Dr. let out a mighty cheer of exultion and Daniel breathed a sigh of relief. They were saved. The Dr. had saved them both. Overcome with the moment, Daniel leaned in close, comforted by the scent of the Dr.'s body. It smelled like lavender and rosemary. Maybe some sage in there too. This time the Dr. did not pull away but engulfed the embrace, gently patting Daniel on the shoulder.

"Your heart is beating so fast," Daniel murmured.

"I have two hearts," the Dr. replied.

"What else do you have two of?"

And the Dr. didn't reply, only pointed his sonic screwdriver at the Dalek again and the light on the end of it flickered.

"Do you have a quarter?" the Dr. whispered, smiling mysteriously, his brandy-colored eyes dancing. Daniel wordlessly handed one over. The Dr. walked over to the Dalek's smoldering body and shoved the quatert into a socket. Thin, faint piano music started to drift out. It was a waltz. There were some notes out of tune but it was passable. Somewhat. The Dr. turned to Daniel, a faint smile on his face.

"Do you dance?" he asked.

"Do I?" Daniel replied, his heart almost bursting with unbridled joy. The Dr. took his hand and then slipped another hand on his waist, his grip firm and steady. Commanding. He walked him through a few steps and then rested his head on Daniel's shoulder.

"After this," he murmured contentedly, "I'll have to take you back to my TARDIS. I'm going to go to castle Hogwarts. You can meet my boyfriend, Snape."

"That sounds wonderful," Daniel murmured in response.

From the end of the corridor, Donna stood there with her arms crossed, watching the scene, frowning in mild disgust.

"Oh for crying out loud," she muttered, "This is bloody ridiculous."

Shot count: 5


End file.
